Governor Rick Scoot has announced a plan to recover much of
the money he lost during the highly-maligned bill, reallocating tax revenue
into the purchase of lottery tickets. Governor Scott has filed a lawsuit in an
English court, claiming that J.K. Rowling had modeled the major antagonist of
the Harry Potter series, Voldemort, on
his likeness. Governor Scott, further, claims that J.K. Rowling based many
events of Volemort’s life are based
off of Scott’s life.
“Lord Voldemort’s actual name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. He rearranged
the letters of his name when he came to power. I did the exact same thing.
Before I went into politics, my name was Kroc Stict.” Governor Scott told a local
reporter.
Again, there were reports that Governor Scott, then, kneaded
his hands together and bobbed his head up and down, saying ‘Yeah. Yeah. Y’all are
going to see. Y’all are going to see.”
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