Saturday, November 9, 2013

News Item of the Week: Why People Hate Dr. Beans

Failing to watch Breaking Bad makes people hate you.

  Dr. Paul L. Pickles in the Sociology Department of the University of New Mexico has performed a study which attempted to answer the question, Why does everyone hate Dr. Brian A. R. Bean, also in the Sociology Department of University of New Mexico. According to Dr. Pickles, Dr. Beans is universally hated by everyone everywhere and his recent study reveals some possible reasons. The study involved a sit-down conversation with Dr. Beans, where in Dr. Beans was asked the following questions:

1. How’d you like the Series Finale of Breaking Bad?
2. How’d you like the Season Opener of The Walking Dead?
3. What did you think of The Avengers?

Dr. Beans’ answer to the above mentioned questions are as follows:

1. I don’t watch Breaking Bad. I saw the first episode and thought it was boring.
  2. I don’t watch The Walking Dead. I can’t stand fake stuff. I’m a little old to waste time with Zombies.
3. Yeah, right. Like I’m going to play make believe with a big green guy and a robot.

It is to be noted that Dr. Beans engaged in this conversation while consuming an egg salad sandwich. Dr. Pickles remarked that it seemed as though Dr. Beans wanted his peers to hate him, but it seemed as though Dr. Beans' awfulness is too comprehensive to be purposeful.

Dr. Pickles remarks " He's just awful rather than trying to be awful."

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