I've been thinking about fate, about the nature of the thing that is meant to be. I'm not sure if I've revealed this on The Dark Abby, but, for sometime now, I've been having dreams about this girl.
I don't know her name, so I named her Lily. I, normally, don't give much attention to my dreams, mostly because they're nothing to write home about. I, normally, dream about random images mixed with external stimilus. If someone's having a loud conversation about sandwiches, my dreams will be about bolony and mayo.
My dreams with Lily, however, are more focused. They feel more anchored, like I were visiting an actual place. I can still recognize the external stimilus, but I know to ignore it because the dream fels more important. Lily wants me to find her and I know it's crazy to be looking for a girl I met in my dreams, but I am looking, although in a half-hearted way.
There was this dream, in which I got the name of a town in Plymouth County, Massachusetts. In the dream, Lily had asked me to come back to Halifax, a place I had never been. I looked it up on-line. It's a small town by a lake, swamped with greenery and sprawling roads. It sounds beautiful, but I'm afraid to go there. I seems like a sign of insanity to be, literally, chasing dreams. In the dream, I was suppoded to find a foot-bridge ornamented with sunflower. In the dream, it's early spring, still cold although the sun is shining down, cleanly. What if I were to go there and see her on that day in early spring? What if I walked up to her and waited for her to recognize me? What if she didn't? What if I hadn't been led to Halifax, if I had somehow learned about the place through some TV show and Lily isn't Lily? What if her name is Sarah, or Amber, or Coral? What if she's just some pretty girl who had nothing to do with me?
Her possible fiction is more comforting than her being real. Things have some much less consequence in dreams. Right now, she's just something I dreamed. If I find her, even if she knows me, there will be consequences. It'll mean I'm meant to do something about her existence.
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